Over the years I've heard some shockers from my brides. I've been asked to get bridesmaids to sign contracts, produce snake charmers, and asked for indoor fireworks, I've even some further shockers from colleagues and friends in the industry [including a bride looking for a chastity belt!] but today, well today [kinda] took the biscuit.
Wedding TV anyone?
First my morning started off with a bit of reality Wedding TV in the form of Bridezillas, and I suppose, in hindsight I really shouldn't be so shocked about this, but I was [and am].
This episode featured a bride totally intent on having a 'celebrity wedding'. She had the celebrity make up artist, the celebrity hair dresser, couture dress [that was unfinished] and the celebrity wedding planner. [Combined nothing really major] but what nearly made me choke on my crunchy nut cornflakes was when the 'celebrity bride' didn't want to attend a close family members funeral, days before her wedding because its clashed with her his & hers celebrity botox... yes you read right!
I want it just like the Celebrities!
The 'celebrity [under 30] bride' forced her groom to have botox along with her AND she referred to it as the 'relaxing pampering that she had always dreamt of' ????? What took seconds, cost thousands and left them both in pain, puffy, blotchy and bleeding looked anything but relaxing and 'dream like'. The total wedding spend was $120k - and honestly I can't say they wedding was any different [in appearance] to what they would have got for $30k. [Sometimes there is really no account for taste or sense!]
Deep breath and off to work with me...
So with the celebrity his and hers botox still occupying my mind I head to work. I'm in the midst of checking a mountain of emails and in walks my intern. My current intern is a chatty little thing who goes through bouts of incessant chatter to stony faced silence. She walked in, stony faced, unusual for a Monday morning.
'Nice weekend?' I chirped
'It was eventful!'
'Ooohhh?'
'I've been unbridesmaided'
'You've what?'
'Bride*, has told Me and Lucy* that she no longer wants us as bridesmaids'
You're just not what I am looking for in a bridesmaid
Turns out my lovely intern, and her lovely [pregnant] friend Lucy don't 'fit' the wedding party vision! Having previously being asked to join [a popular weekly slimming group], this lovely bride decided that wasn't enough and that pictures were more important than friendships and cut the wheat from the wedding party chaff [so to speak] and has bestowed the 'honour' of Chief Bridesmaid on a size 6 whippet! More fool her is all I say! What bride wouldn't want her lovely life long friends standing with her on the most important day of her life! Especially one who is studying and working in weddings? All I have to say is I hope mocking isn't catching and how dare you treat me lovely little intern like that! :P
Ok rant over!
*ps names have been changed to protect real identities! :)
Image from: Melanie Herbert
